


i will fear the night again

by LightningMcGay



Category: haikyuu
Genre: Alternate Universe - Royalty, M/M, Prince Oikawa Tooru, brief mentions of suicide beware
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-03
Updated: 2019-04-03
Packaged: 2020-01-04 08:18:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18339758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LightningMcGay/pseuds/LightningMcGay
Summary: title’s from truce by twenty one pilots





	i will fear the night again

“now the night is coming to an end”

 

tooru coughs weakly, staggering as his feet catches on a broken branch and he nearly falls. he braces himself against a tree, hand pressed against the wound on his side, desperately trying to save as much blood as he can.

 

there’s a loud noise from behind him. he freezes, hand clutching sword tightly. he recognises that voice, how could he not?

 

tendo satori, the man who had killed issei.

 

he clenches his teeth in anger. he glances briefly at the sword and thinks how easy it would be, to drive the sword right through the man’s cold heart.

 

no, that would be too quick. tooru wants him to suffer, to beg for death. death would be too kind for a man like him.

 

he decides against it because he can almost feel issei glaring down at him, chiding him for being an idiot. tooru would argue that trying to fight a deranged monster while he’s injured won’t even be on the top ten list of stupid things he has done.

 

instead, he shoves his homicidal thoughts down, and ventures deep into the forest. this is his safe place, the place where he can outsmart shiratorizawa. he grew up in these woods, royalty be damned.

 

he only stops when the pain gets too much for even him to handle. he knows there’s a cave nearby which may not be safe from animals, but is invisible to most human eyes. he walks to it as fast as he can without stumbling, paranoia edging him to move quicker.

 

it’s only when he rests that he realises how much he has left behind. what kind of prince is he? abandoning his country, his people.

 

tobio, oh god. his little brother. his mind speeds up, thinking of all the possible things that could have happened before he manages to calm himself down.

 

he had saw tobio last with takahiro, which was a blessing. takahiro was smart, he knew the secret tunnels, he would have gotten himself and tobio out of the castle safe and sound. takahiro should be well on his way to karasuno by now.

 

his repeated assurance of his friend’s and brother’s safety is enough to get him to rest.

 

“the sun will rise and we will try again”

 

half-conscious, he drifts back into the castle, memories of lying on his soft bed with his head on his mother’s lap, her hand stroking his hair.

 

“darkness will come and pass, tooru. nothing lasts forever. the light will prevail. never lose hope, tooru, for good will always exist in this world.” she used to say, telling him stories of ancient heroes who sacrificed until they had nothing left, until all that was left of them was an empty soul which used to be so full of life.

 

he chokes up, remembering his mother, her beautiful smile, her terrified eyes, her screaming at him to run, her head lying on his feet, her body metres away.

 

he wonders what will happen to him. will he turn into the heroes of his mother’s legends, who poured and poured until they had nothing left to give? or will he be forgotten, just another name in history, passed off by a future bratty prince as simply a myth?

 

he doesn’t realise when he starts crying, doesn’t know when he had curled up on himself, just to sit up and throw up on his left. he wrinkles his nose at the mess, eyes teary, breathing heavy.

 

“stay alive, stay alive for me”

 

will he even make it on time? will he ever see tobio again? takahiro? shigeru? akira flashes past his eyes and suddenly he’s there again, helplessly watching as akira yells at them to run while he fights off soldiers, trying to make his way to yutaro.

 

the sound of armour being pierced is vividly clear in his brain, akira’s eyes blown wide open, the spear impaling his stomach, him falling down on his knees. yutaro screaming, begging to be set free by shigeru, who drags him away from his dead lover.

 

tooru has lost so much, what else can be taken away from him? who else is going to die before his eyes, as he stands there, being useless? who has already died that he doesn’t even know of? he’ll scratch and claw and maim his way back to the throne, the crown that is rightfully his, but at what cost?

 

“you will die, but now your life is free”

 

in a brief moment of weakness, he wonders what would happen if he opens his side wound. the blood loss would ultimately kill him in his sleep. it would be painless and quick. or maybe even his own sword could do the honour.

 

and then he thinks of hajime. his fierce, loving, brutish, iwaizumi hajime, his best friend, his partner through thick and thin. he thinks of hajime’s terrifying glare, his rough hands on tooru’s in the few precious moments they shared, the feel of hajime’s sword against his.

 

he thinks of his mother, who chose to save him in her last moments. thinks of issei, who without a second of hesitation threw himself between the axe and tobio, thinks of takahiro, who had no time to mourn his lover and prioritised his duties over emotions. thinks of akira’s relaxed smile in the face of death when he realised yutaro was safe.

 

tooru has to fight for them. he could never be so selfish to give up.

 

“take pride in what is sure to die”

 

he’s only allowed to take his last breaths when he has killed ushijima wakatoshi with his bare hands. only when he has broken every last bone there is in semi eita’s body.

 

only when he has forced goshiki tsutomu to watch everyone of his beloved companions die. only when he has burned shirabu kenjirou alive and heard his screams echo.

 

only when he has tortured tendo satori to the brink of madness.

 

he snorts. it’s bold of him to assume tendo isn’t already crazy.

 

he won’t stop until he has made sure and seen with his eyes that the shiratorizawa generals suffer for everything they have done. not only to his kingdom, but also to datekou’s.

 

he cries, thinking of moniwa, his dearest friend. thinks of aone, who refused to speak after it. of futakuchi, who was forced to lead his people too young. of koganegawa, who was forced to watch his brother die when he was merely a child.

 

he sobs and mourns all of them. those who lost their family, their friends, their self. if not for revenge, then he’ll stay alive to tell their stories. their sacrifices. he’ll live on as their legacy, make sure that everyone remembers their name, the martyrs of a fruitless war fought on apparent values of freedom and integrity which turned even innocent children into survivors.

 

when he finally drifts off, it’s to the sound of tobio’s screams, to the smell of fire and smoke and burning bodies, to his father’s face, brave even as he looked imminent death in the eye.

 

but when he gets to dream, he’s lucky enough for them to be full of hajime, his hearty laughter that warms tooru’s heart. his smiles, though rare, never failing to make tooru’s life brighter. his voice, deep and familiar, speaking soft nonsense that makes tooru smile dreamily.

 

his hajime. his home. he can’t wait to see him again, even if it takes fighting a war.

 

for now, he’ll sleep. come morning light, he’ll figure out something, a way back to the throne. tooru knows what he’s capable of, has enough confidence to know that he’ll pull something that is both incredibly foolish and absolutely brilliant.

 

and he’ll survive.

 

 


End file.
